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I was all set to do a phone interview with Mariel Hemingway to discuss her new book, Mariel Hemingway's Healthy Living From the Inside Out (Harper San Francisco). But when I called her hotel, I had an incredibly difficult time getting through to this granddaughter of America's literary titan: The operator couldn't spell “Hemingway,” which probably had Ernest rolling over in his grave. But it was a fitting introduction to my conversation with the actress-writer, who personifies contradiction.
Like the character she played in Woody Allen's Manhattan—an apparent innocent who was, in fact, far from it—Mariel is not what you'd imagine. Despite her family's dark and murky legacy (the suicide of her grandfather; alleged suicide of her sister, Margaux; and the death of her father following a surgical mishap), Mariel radiates lightness, clarity, and strength. And though she derived early fame and fortune as a model and actress, struggling to live up to unrealistic standards of outer perfection, she has spent much of her adult life directing herself inward to discover dietary, physical, and spiritual practices, including yoga, to vanquish demons that threaten emotional and physical well-being. Now, as a writer, she presents her four-prong (food, exercise, home, and silence) roadmap for achieving wholeness and balance.
Of course, I was most interested in her theories and strategies concerning the home, which could be regarded as antidecor—if decor means adopting trendy styles that have nothing to do with one's deepest inclinations, or dressing rooms in a look determined by a designer who never gets to know you. “We don't spend enough time at home, but when we are there, it should fill us up,” says Mariel. “But we get caught up in the model home syndrome, which is like being on someone else's diet or wearing someone else's dress—it doesn't fit. I believe that you can have fabulous design, but it should come from your heart. We need to figure out who we really are and go from there.” Mariel's book is filled with practical advice. Here are some suggestions she shared in our conversation:
Locate the areas in your home that make you feel best and turn them into places you want to spend time. “I went around my house after first sitting in silence and found those spaces where I could really feel comfortable,” Mariel recalls. “I hardly ever used my living room, but I felt good in there, so I turned it into my office. My work became more productive and successful. I achieved this by deciding to feel instead of think my way through the house. It was kind of an internal feng shui process.”
Intention counts for a lot when arranging your home. “You can often do very little and still achieve dramatic results if you are making a conscious effort to make your place your own.”
Act kindly toward oneself. “I used to think I had to have a movie part to make me feel like someone, but then I allowed myself to be colorful at home, and that engaged and fed my creativity. Other things I do that make me feel whole are gathering roses in my garden, lighting candles in the evening, and pulling the covers down on my husband's side of the bed at night, which shows that I'm alive in the relationship. I do these things slowly so I can sense their power while I'm doing them. I've also created what I call 'a sacred place in my bedroom'—an area filled with things that are special and evocative to me.”
Shape a slow home. “A slower home is one that doesn't have media on 24/7—a place where you sit down for meals, light candles periodically, and make time for conversation and for picking up clutter. A slow home is important for getting to the silence that allows you to do what you need to do for yourself. Your ability to tune into yourself will go away if you don't shut off the chatter.” —Donna Sapolin, VP/editor-in-chief
What do you do to make your house your own? Post your ideas, tips, and comments by clicking on the comments link below.
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